Monday, July 30, 2012

I'm a Believer

I have been on an antidepressant now for a little over two months.  I'd like to say that it was because I was suffering from Post Partum Depression, but to be honest it was more than that.  Now that I'm actually feeling better I can admit that this was probably creeping up on me for several years and it wasn't until I was post partum that it became so bad I couldn't function.  The only way I can explain it is that it was like there was a dimmer on my life and now everything is back in bright colors.  I feel SO much better! More in control of my emotions and able to enjoy my life.  I was so full of anxiety before I couldn't even make simple decisions like what to have for dinner.
The thing is?  I didn't even realize I was like this. Until I wasn't any more.
Since I last posted I've returned to work and it hasn't been as awful as I was afraid it would be. Granted it's only been 3 weeks, but I don't dread going in like I used to.
I am enjoying my husband and children more and trying to be more mindful of my time with them.
Because who wouldn't love spending time with the cutest, sweetest guys ever?
 Ben thinking he's "hot stuff"
 Brothers in matching jammies
My big guys

Even having my nose broken yesterday doesn't seem so  bad. (I was accidentally headbutted by Jack)
I've taken an interest in my life again.
And that feels good.

2 comments:

Becky Durham said...

Awesome. Thanks for posting about a personal part of your life that helps remove one more little piece of the stigma that surrounds depression.

Heather Novak said...

Oh I can TOTALLY relate, I was on Wellbutrin for wahile...only after on it did I realize the feeling shad been around a lot longer. I think I am doing well now, off of it, but somedays I WONDER!